I'm in Lima. Goodbyes were hard. It's hard to get pretty close with people and they leave and not know if you'll ever see them again. Tomorrow night I'll get on a plane home and I'm really looking forward to coming home though. Thanks everybody who has cared about me and prayed for me. It has meant a lot to me. When times have been tough these last 6 months it has been very encouraging knowing how many people have been praying for me. I hope everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving Day.
-Michael
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
The Peruvian Hairless Dog
This coming Tuesday I'm flying to Lima. I'll be there until Friday, then I fly home Friday night to arrive next Saturday morning. This is the end. I never quite figured out how to use this blog, but that's ok I guess. I have a good story for this post at least. So, as most people know, Barack Obama promised to get his daughters a puppy. He also mentioned in a news conference that one of his daughters is allergic to most dogs. Well, here in Peru there's a breed of dog that doesn't have any hair. They've been bred for 3,000 years I think. So, the director of the Friends of the Peruvian Hairless Dog Association in Lima offered the Obama family a four month old Peruvian hairless dog named Machu Picchu. Here are some photos.
Apparently it has a warmer than average body temperature and can cure arthritis and asthma. There was a special about it on tv the other night. People are really hoping Obama accepts. It would certainly be hilarious.
-Michael
Apparently it has a warmer than average body temperature and can cure arthritis and asthma. There was a special about it on tv the other night. People are really hoping Obama accepts. It would certainly be hilarious.
-Michael
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Making Peanut Butter
So this was kinda fun. Yesterday I made peanut butter. This is me roasting the peanuts.
I'm a-peeling.
Peanut buttering.
The end.
-Michael
I'm a-peeling.
Peanut buttering.
The end.-Michael
Thursday, October 30, 2008
On a Lighter Note
My host brothers design websites, do graphic design, and are photographers. They recently were asked to make a brochure for a local coffee company called Cafe Rio Mayo and wanted to have pictures of gringos in the brochure because gringos only drink good quality coffee. So.....
I'm a model. The hilarity of it outweighed any culture/power relationships/whatever reservations I could come up with.
-Michael
I'm a model. The hilarity of it outweighed any culture/power relationships/whatever reservations I could come up with.-Michael
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
An Incident
On Sunday, I woke up at 3:30 to go with a group of Swedish women, my boss, and the two other interns in my house to a tourist place called Tingana. It́s a river forest reserve and you have to get there really early to see the monkeys. Anyways, we took a van on a dirt road for 50 minutes or so to get there. On the way 3 men with guns tried to stop us and rob us. I only saw 2 of the men pointing their guns at us as we passed. Apparently there was another one in the front who tried to stop us and fire his pistol in the air to scare us, but it didn´t fire so our driver hit the gas. So, we escaped and were told later that the police caught them. I didńt know wéd be on a remote dirt road going there and that it would be dangerous, which it apparently is. It happened so fast but I was pretty shaken and worried for the rest of the drive.
I´m fine, but think that people reading this might want to know about that.
-Michael
I´m fine, but think that people reading this might want to know about that.
-Michael
Friday, October 17, 2008
Obama on the Free Trade Agreement with Peru
I just watched the third U.S. presidential debate on youtube last night and two things stood out to me. First; both Barack Obama and John McCain are left handed. Other people probably didn't notice because they were watching the debate from their right handed seats of power. This is good news for southpaws everywhere.
Second, Barack Obama brought up his support for the current U.S.-Peru Free Trade Agreement. Now, I bet that when everyone heard that they all got pretty excited at any mention of a great country like Peru and probably thought "Hmm, I don't know much about that trade agreement. I wonder what Peruvians think of it." I'm so glad you asked! I'm certainly no expert on international trade, but have read a little bit about this trade agreement. I also regularly read a blog by a Peruvian living in Washington D.C. He has a good post providing a Peruvian perspective on what Obama said Wednesday night here. It's not too long and worth the read. His perspective is very much like that of Peruvians I meet here on our election and politics. They overwhelmingly support Obama over McCain (I haven't and won't meet any McCain supporters here), but well informed Peruvians recognize that Obama still stands for much of the status quo. However, as portrayed clearly in the debate Wednesday night, Obama is at least concerned about things like the environment and human rights when it comes to trade agreements; not just how much more money we can make than the other country.
Also, I do agree with McCain that Obama should definitely visit countries in Latin America. It will be funny when he does though. They'll gush over him more than J Lo and Mana (Latin Coldplay) combined.
-Michael
Second, Barack Obama brought up his support for the current U.S.-Peru Free Trade Agreement. Now, I bet that when everyone heard that they all got pretty excited at any mention of a great country like Peru and probably thought "Hmm, I don't know much about that trade agreement. I wonder what Peruvians think of it." I'm so glad you asked! I'm certainly no expert on international trade, but have read a little bit about this trade agreement. I also regularly read a blog by a Peruvian living in Washington D.C. He has a good post providing a Peruvian perspective on what Obama said Wednesday night here. It's not too long and worth the read. His perspective is very much like that of Peruvians I meet here on our election and politics. They overwhelmingly support Obama over McCain (I haven't and won't meet any McCain supporters here), but well informed Peruvians recognize that Obama still stands for much of the status quo. However, as portrayed clearly in the debate Wednesday night, Obama is at least concerned about things like the environment and human rights when it comes to trade agreements; not just how much more money we can make than the other country.
Also, I do agree with McCain that Obama should definitely visit countries in Latin America. It will be funny when he does though. They'll gush over him more than J Lo and Mana (Latin Coldplay) combined.
-Michael
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Something I am learning
I spent a lot of time before coming to Peru preparing. Due to many factors I believe I had expectations to really grow spiritually while here. Though these expectations weren't too specific, I still unknowingly put quite a bit of pressure on myself. Of course I'm still the same person as before. So much of my time here I've felt burdened by my own shameful weaknesses without acknowledging that it was largely my pride that had caused this. Only recently have I really articulated this burdensome feeling and it has helped me to feel much better and I believe understand my situation and myself better. I think I have also been able to see more clearly some of the things the Lord is teaching me here, so I'll talk about one thing.
There is a very good quality that I see in people sometimes; I'd say that it is part of compassion, but does not get at the whole meaning of what compassion is. These people wisely seek to understand others, especially those with whom they disagree. They hear their stories and listen. They ask the right questions and they do not make assumptions of others. They never demonize or mischaracterize others.
The cultivation of this kind of wisdom, compassion, and understanding certainly does not require one to spend 6 months in some exotic foreign country, and of course my being here does not guarantee any greater spiritual maturation than anybody else. In fact it's just the sort of thing that could possibly make me a more prideful, less understanding person. However, I do believe God has used my experiences here to teach me about my failings in this area and to hopefully cultivate this kind of compassion in me.
In the book Compassion, Henri Nouwen (and others) talk a little bit about St. Francis of Assisi. St. Francis being one of the most admirable people I know of, I paid close attention.
"From this displaced position, Francis could live a compassionate life; he was no longer blinded by apparent differences between people and could recognize them all as brothers and sisters who needed God's grace as much as he did."
Through voluntary displacement God made St. Francis a more compassionate, understanding person. He understood his own weakness better and, in the difference or "otherness" of displacement, he better understood our common humanity. I have prayed (though not nearly enough) that God would do the same the same thing in me. He has certainly been making my weakness and selfishness clear to me. Here's a few quick stories about just that.
Back in June there was a holiday week that basically celebrated everything about Moyobamba. I was exhausted a lot that week and my family and coworkers kept making me participate in all sorts of things that an anthropology student like me should have been thrilled about, like watch and participate in some typical dances and taste typical regional food (i.e. weird chewy sausage in front of 20 giggling high school kids). However, I often didn't want to do these things. I wanted my alone time and my sleep. I made all the obvious non-verbal signals around the people I was dependent upon to get home like frequent yawns and looking impatient. When I was ignored I became upset. Only much later did I realize that much of the problem involved cultural differences. I don't think more details to the story are necessary, but suffice to say that my host brother and coworkers weren't intentionally putting me in uncomfortable situations and ignoring me like I felt at the time.
Another quick story involves my church here. In general, the church that I attend, which my family and friends attend, was not what I was expecting. The kinds of flaws that I see in it are not the flaws that I hoped or expected my church here in Peru to have. Many of them are just like the weaknesses of churches I know in the U.S. I didn't expect to agree with everything about my church here, but I was hoping that their problems would be different and that they would get right what home churches get wrong. This weekend the church is sponsoring a conference which features a man from Australia coming to talk about the great threat of evolution and why it's wrong. I have not seen my church focus at all on the many social problems here in Moyobamba like poverty, domestic violence, and care for the environment. Of course that doesn't mean they don't; I haven't been here too long.
Anyways, the point is that my church has obvious flaws like any church; flaws which are all too familiar to me. But I have been presumptuous and judgmental. Rather than asking what it is that I can learn from my brothers and sisters at this church, I have far too quickly put them down in my mind and thought highly of myself as more "enlightened". Only as I have learned more about the church's long, complicated history which has often involved complex relationships with Westerners, have I become more understanding and compassionate toward it. And the truth is, there are things that I can learn from these brothers and sisters. As an institution, the church may not be doing the things I think it should, but some of the individual members I am closest to are living lives worthy of my imitation in their compassion toward each other and their neighbors outside the church. The church also places quite a bit of focus on prayer and fasting; two things which I have never been too concerned about in actual practice.
I do pray that the Lord would continue to use failures like these to teach me how to be a more compassionate person, especially when encountering disagreements and differences. Perhaps the greater challenge will be in returning when I will inevitably encounter the sorts of differences in people at home that I have always had impatience with; and the differences may likely be starker than I remember as I see them from new lenses. May the Lord give me grace in those times when I am tempted to to be prideful and judgmental rather than compassionate and understanding.
-Michael
There is a very good quality that I see in people sometimes; I'd say that it is part of compassion, but does not get at the whole meaning of what compassion is. These people wisely seek to understand others, especially those with whom they disagree. They hear their stories and listen. They ask the right questions and they do not make assumptions of others. They never demonize or mischaracterize others.
The cultivation of this kind of wisdom, compassion, and understanding certainly does not require one to spend 6 months in some exotic foreign country, and of course my being here does not guarantee any greater spiritual maturation than anybody else. In fact it's just the sort of thing that could possibly make me a more prideful, less understanding person. However, I do believe God has used my experiences here to teach me about my failings in this area and to hopefully cultivate this kind of compassion in me.
In the book Compassion, Henri Nouwen (and others) talk a little bit about St. Francis of Assisi. St. Francis being one of the most admirable people I know of, I paid close attention.
"From this displaced position, Francis could live a compassionate life; he was no longer blinded by apparent differences between people and could recognize them all as brothers and sisters who needed God's grace as much as he did."
Through voluntary displacement God made St. Francis a more compassionate, understanding person. He understood his own weakness better and, in the difference or "otherness" of displacement, he better understood our common humanity. I have prayed (though not nearly enough) that God would do the same the same thing in me. He has certainly been making my weakness and selfishness clear to me. Here's a few quick stories about just that.
Back in June there was a holiday week that basically celebrated everything about Moyobamba. I was exhausted a lot that week and my family and coworkers kept making me participate in all sorts of things that an anthropology student like me should have been thrilled about, like watch and participate in some typical dances and taste typical regional food (i.e. weird chewy sausage in front of 20 giggling high school kids). However, I often didn't want to do these things. I wanted my alone time and my sleep. I made all the obvious non-verbal signals around the people I was dependent upon to get home like frequent yawns and looking impatient. When I was ignored I became upset. Only much later did I realize that much of the problem involved cultural differences. I don't think more details to the story are necessary, but suffice to say that my host brother and coworkers weren't intentionally putting me in uncomfortable situations and ignoring me like I felt at the time.
Another quick story involves my church here. In general, the church that I attend, which my family and friends attend, was not what I was expecting. The kinds of flaws that I see in it are not the flaws that I hoped or expected my church here in Peru to have. Many of them are just like the weaknesses of churches I know in the U.S. I didn't expect to agree with everything about my church here, but I was hoping that their problems would be different and that they would get right what home churches get wrong. This weekend the church is sponsoring a conference which features a man from Australia coming to talk about the great threat of evolution and why it's wrong. I have not seen my church focus at all on the many social problems here in Moyobamba like poverty, domestic violence, and care for the environment. Of course that doesn't mean they don't; I haven't been here too long.
Anyways, the point is that my church has obvious flaws like any church; flaws which are all too familiar to me. But I have been presumptuous and judgmental. Rather than asking what it is that I can learn from my brothers and sisters at this church, I have far too quickly put them down in my mind and thought highly of myself as more "enlightened". Only as I have learned more about the church's long, complicated history which has often involved complex relationships with Westerners, have I become more understanding and compassionate toward it. And the truth is, there are things that I can learn from these brothers and sisters. As an institution, the church may not be doing the things I think it should, but some of the individual members I am closest to are living lives worthy of my imitation in their compassion toward each other and their neighbors outside the church. The church also places quite a bit of focus on prayer and fasting; two things which I have never been too concerned about in actual practice.
I do pray that the Lord would continue to use failures like these to teach me how to be a more compassionate person, especially when encountering disagreements and differences. Perhaps the greater challenge will be in returning when I will inevitably encounter the sorts of differences in people at home that I have always had impatience with; and the differences may likely be starker than I remember as I see them from new lenses. May the Lord give me grace in those times when I am tempted to to be prideful and judgmental rather than compassionate and understanding.
-Michael
Psalm 146
I have to admit that I´ve followed the U.S. presidential campaign quite closely on the internet from here in Peru. To be honest, I have definitely followed it too closely considering what I ought to be doing with my time here. Anyways, I have plenty of thoughts and opinions I could start laying out if I desired and a few weeks ago I almost did. Instead however, I´ll share a Psalm I read the other day which really grabbed me.
Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord, O my soul!
I will praise the Lord as long as I live;
I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.
Put not your trust in princes,
in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation.
When his breath departs, he returns to the earth;
on that very day his plans perish.
Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord his God,
who made heaven and earth,
the sea, and all that is in them,
who keeps faith forever;
who executes justice for the oppressed,
who gives food to the hungry.
The Lord sets the prisoners free;
the Lord opens the eyes of the blind.
The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down;
the Lord loves the righteous.
The Lord watches over the sojourners;
he upholds the widow and the fatherless,
but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.
The Lord will reign forever,
your God, O Zion, to all generations.
Praise the Lord!
Psalm 146
If anybody would like to share any specific thoughts or reflections from this Psalm, I´d love to hear them.
I plan to post again tonight.
God bless,
Michael
Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord, O my soul!
I will praise the Lord as long as I live;
I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.
Put not your trust in princes,
in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation.
When his breath departs, he returns to the earth;
on that very day his plans perish.
Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord his God,
who made heaven and earth,
the sea, and all that is in them,
who keeps faith forever;
who executes justice for the oppressed,
who gives food to the hungry.
The Lord sets the prisoners free;
the Lord opens the eyes of the blind.
The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down;
the Lord loves the righteous.
The Lord watches over the sojourners;
he upholds the widow and the fatherless,
but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.
The Lord will reign forever,
your God, O Zion, to all generations.
Praise the Lord!
Psalm 146
If anybody would like to share any specific thoughts or reflections from this Psalm, I´d love to hear them.
I plan to post again tonight.
God bless,
Michael
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Fractions
I have a confession to make. I always know how many weeks I have been here, how many I have left, and what fraction of my time I have completed in Peru. Today, Saturday, marks 19 weeks here. I have 7 left. This week I will reach 3/4 of my time here. I don't particularly hate it here or anything thing like that. Often I really like it, but I'm still looking forward to coming home. I'm looking forward to seeing my beautiful fiance Pamela again. I'm looking forward to being with my family and friends at home and all the familiarity of it, then to getting back to Wheaton and seeing other friends and talking with them and laughing. Hopefully though, I just like fractions more than most people.
Also, there's some pretty big news in Peru right now. Apparently an oil company has been bribing members of the president's cabinet, and they are all now being forced to resign by the righteous corruption fighting president Alan Garcia. I guess it's kind of a familiar sounding story. I'll try to post again soon with something more substantive but I have some papers to write first.
-Michael
Also, there's some pretty big news in Peru right now. Apparently an oil company has been bribing members of the president's cabinet, and they are all now being forced to resign by the righteous corruption fighting president Alan Garcia. I guess it's kind of a familiar sounding story. I'll try to post again soon with something more substantive but I have some papers to write first.
-Michael
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Letter to the American Church
Here is a letter written and signed by many of our brothers and sisters in the Global South. We must not ignore it. Please pass this on to people you know as well.
p.s. Erika Izquierdo works for the Paz y Esperanza office in Lima and I stayed at her house when I first arrived, which is pretty neat.
-Michael
p.s. Erika Izquierdo works for the Paz y Esperanza office in Lima and I stayed at her house when I first arrived, which is pretty neat.
-Michael
Monday, September 22, 2008
Independent Study
Time to update again, seriously.
Well, life had been rough for a few weeks. I didn't want be with people and I spent a lot of time alone wasting time on my computer (but not even blogging). My independent study got off to a pretty bad start, but it has since started shaping up somewhat.
Basically, here's what the study looks like it's shaping up to be: all the people in these villages are migrants from the mountains (though most not as recent as I had hoped) and they are all coffee farmers. The majority are quite poor though they work very hard, although there are a few who are doing pretty well (assuming they told me the truth on the various questions designed to sneakily calculate their income without directly asking). These villages are not accessible by road; they all must be walked to up a mountain for 45 minutes or so. They lack accessible clean water and electricity. Deforestation is somewhat a problem but apparently not as bad as other places in this region. Many of the farmers are members of associations which sell their coffee together (often certified organic for a better price), wash their coffee together and some other stuff. But many of the farmers (different amount depending on each village) are independent. So one direction I'd like to take my study is to focus more on what the benefits and drawbacks are of being in an association or independent, what factors contribute to each and that sort of thing. Some trends I've noticed from the few surveys I've done are that the younger men and more recent migrants are likely to have less land (money) and are less likely to be part of an organization. Their land also seems to be a little more likely to decrease it's harvest of coffee each year, yet these men all want to join associations.
I hope that by focusing on this (other things too) I can do something pretty practical and be able to say what the benefits are for the village (and by extension the region if it involves environmental problems) if more farmers are members of associations, and I can maybe say why despite their desire to join an association, most haven't and how NGOs or government workers could help this.
This is less broad and ambitious than it was when I started, but it still feels so big. I hope I can do it.
-Michael
p.s. Buy organic coffee.
p.p.s. Seriously.
Well, life had been rough for a few weeks. I didn't want be with people and I spent a lot of time alone wasting time on my computer (but not even blogging). My independent study got off to a pretty bad start, but it has since started shaping up somewhat.
Basically, here's what the study looks like it's shaping up to be: all the people in these villages are migrants from the mountains (though most not as recent as I had hoped) and they are all coffee farmers. The majority are quite poor though they work very hard, although there are a few who are doing pretty well (assuming they told me the truth on the various questions designed to sneakily calculate their income without directly asking). These villages are not accessible by road; they all must be walked to up a mountain for 45 minutes or so. They lack accessible clean water and electricity. Deforestation is somewhat a problem but apparently not as bad as other places in this region. Many of the farmers are members of associations which sell their coffee together (often certified organic for a better price), wash their coffee together and some other stuff. But many of the farmers (different amount depending on each village) are independent. So one direction I'd like to take my study is to focus more on what the benefits and drawbacks are of being in an association or independent, what factors contribute to each and that sort of thing. Some trends I've noticed from the few surveys I've done are that the younger men and more recent migrants are likely to have less land (money) and are less likely to be part of an organization. Their land also seems to be a little more likely to decrease it's harvest of coffee each year, yet these men all want to join associations.
I hope that by focusing on this (other things too) I can do something pretty practical and be able to say what the benefits are for the village (and by extension the region if it involves environmental problems) if more farmers are members of associations, and I can maybe say why despite their desire to join an association, most haven't and how NGOs or government workers could help this.
This is less broad and ambitious than it was when I started, but it still feels so big. I hope I can do it.
-Michael
p.s. Buy organic coffee.
p.p.s. Seriously.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Some days here I feel tired and lonely. Today has been one of those days. I really feel like I've been failing. My independent study has gotten off to a rocky start at best, I don't feel like my Spanish has improved much at all lately, and I spend too much time alone. I just don't feel up to this anymore right now. I know I'm just having a bad day or week, but it can be so hard to see past these times when they come.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Way Overdue
It has been way too long since I have posted here. Sorry. And now that it has been so long I feel like I can't easily write a lot to convey everything about life here. Every two weeks I have to write an assessment letter for the HNGR program. When I write these, it is supposed to be written for the HNGR program and not with any other audience in mind. I did that, but now I think that the best way to update this blog is to take excerpts from some assessment letters. It's a little lazy, I admit, but I don't really feel like rewriting a lot of those same ideas. It's also not something I want to get in the habit of doing, but I feel like I need to right now to jump-start the blog.
Ok, so this first one is from an assessment letter I wrote this morning.
"A little over two weeks ago I acknowledged that some of the spiritual questions and concerns I’ve had with my church here have led to my being more cynical than I would have liked to admit. I decided that one thing I should do is to stop allowing myself to be a distant cynic and participate more in my church. At first this went alright. I went to a Bible study the youth group started and it was alright. I suppose it was a lot like a Bible study at home, just with a few too many people.
"A few months ago I was in a meeting with some government officials and NGO workers who were brainstorming how to solve the problem of deforestation in this region, which is mainly caused by the slash-and-burn farming practices of these migrant farmers. I remember being astonished and quite angry when a woman in the group denied that the migrant farmers are poor. She said that they are not farming in unsustainable ways out of necessity, but because they are careless, selfish liars. Well, Wednesday night, after I returned from my visit to Bellavista, I was shocked to hear that my host brother and host mom feel very similarly. My host brother told me that it made sense that the people were friendly and welcoming to me, but that they will deceive me and lie to me in my study. This was obviously very frustrating for me to hear. It means that my study will likely be harder than I thought, but it also helped me to realize just how deep the class conflict is between the people here in the jungle and the migrants from the mountains. I need to focus on the economic reality of the migrant farmers in my study as much as I am able. I also cannot allow myself to glorify the poor as I have been tempted to do and to overlook their role in their situation."
I think I'll just stick with those two quotes from assessment letters for now. They certainly don't even come close to describing everything about life here, but they're something. Feel free to ask any questions about either of them or anything else by replying or by emailing me. I have reached the 3 month mark, which means I'm halfway.
-Michael
p.s. We got a pet monkey and I named him Jumper after the Hayden Christiansen movie that I never would have watched if I had been in the States. I think it's a good name. He's cute. You know what, I'm gonna post a picture.
Ok, so this first one is from an assessment letter I wrote this morning.
"A little over two weeks ago I acknowledged that some of the spiritual questions and concerns I’ve had with my church here have led to my being more cynical than I would have liked to admit. I decided that one thing I should do is to stop allowing myself to be a distant cynic and participate more in my church. At first this went alright. I went to a Bible study the youth group started and it was alright. I suppose it was a lot like a Bible study at home, just with a few too many people.
Then, however, last Saturday I had a pretty tough experience with the church. Some of us in the youth group went up the hill to a small poor village called Algarrobos to show a film. We spent the afternoon walking around passing out tracts and invitations to the film to people. When we had finished I talked with the youth pastor and his fiancé. When he found out that I’m an anthropology major, he brought up that an American scientist is coming in a month or two to do some seminar on creationism. Pretty unhappy about this, I casually asked both of them whether they believe that people who accept evolution can be Christians, and they said no. I shouldn’t have gone there, but this really upset me since some of the most sincere Christians I know accept evolution. It’s very frustrating that my church here is concerned at all about evolution. It seems like it should be the very last thing on their minds.
Well, later that night the film we showed was even more frustrating and disappointing. Made by some
One of the main frustrations I have had with my church has had to do with the ways it has been influenced by the
Thankfully though, after that day I had a very good long conversation with my host brother Roberto about a lot of the things I have been frustrated with. I don’t agree with Roberto on everything, but we understand each other and that meant a lot that night. I also received an encouraging email from Drew Jennings who was the HNGR intern here in 2006. He affirmed my frustrations but was also very encouraging. Here is the part that really challenged me:
“I guess one of the places I grew most by staying with it was just learning to love people I didn't want to, to the point of trying to be humble enough to realize on Sunday or Saturday night that this is God's church and no matter how sexist the pastor is, or wrong their eschatology is, or how narrow-minded and judgmental the members are, God can still use them in my own life. I can learn from them.”
"A few months ago I was in a meeting with some government officials and NGO workers who were brainstorming how to solve the problem of deforestation in this region, which is mainly caused by the slash-and-burn farming practices of these migrant farmers. I remember being astonished and quite angry when a woman in the group denied that the migrant farmers are poor. She said that they are not farming in unsustainable ways out of necessity, but because they are careless, selfish liars. Well, Wednesday night, after I returned from my visit to Bellavista, I was shocked to hear that my host brother and host mom feel very similarly. My host brother told me that it made sense that the people were friendly and welcoming to me, but that they will deceive me and lie to me in my study. This was obviously very frustrating for me to hear. It means that my study will likely be harder than I thought, but it also helped me to realize just how deep the class conflict is between the people here in the jungle and the migrants from the mountains. I need to focus on the economic reality of the migrant farmers in my study as much as I am able. I also cannot allow myself to glorify the poor as I have been tempted to do and to overlook their role in their situation."
I think I'll just stick with those two quotes from assessment letters for now. They certainly don't even come close to describing everything about life here, but they're something. Feel free to ask any questions about either of them or anything else by replying or by emailing me. I have reached the 3 month mark, which means I'm halfway.
-Michael
p.s. We got a pet monkey and I named him Jumper after the Hayden Christiansen movie that I never would have watched if I had been in the States. I think it's a good name. He's cute. You know what, I'm gonna post a picture.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Picture Post
I've been meaning to post more pictures. It's what everyone wants, after all. So, these pictures are from lots of different things, and some of them are pretty old.
This first one is from a big parade a week ago that culminated 10 days of celebrating the culture here. This was a competition to recreate old myths.
This is my host brother Freddy.
I think this guy wanted me to help him...
My second week here my host brother and I climbed that mountain behind me.
This is my host brother Alejandro. Like a lot a people here, he doesn't smile in pictures very often.
This is one of our dogs. His name is Doggy (or sometimes Doggito), and he's adorable.
They're really excited to be taking a picture with me.
This is our pet turtle! His name is Torti. Sorry it's a little blurry; he's really fast.
See if you can spot the gringo in this picture.
This is another, smaller city about 40 minutes away called Nueva Cajamarca. I go there pretty often for work.
This is the Catholic school in Nueva Cajamarca where I also go for work a lot.
This is the new cement factory. They don't allow reporters or anybody with cameras to take pictures because it is polluting the air, water, and land. They can't stop anybody from taking a picture from a car though...
This wall is across from my work. "Vuelve a sonreir" kind of means "Keep smiling."
I haven't taken many pictures of myself with people, or of people I don't know, or even of people I know. I'm generally pretty nervous about that sort of thing. I guess I'm just feeling things out first; you know, getting comfortable. I'll have plenty more pictures in 5 months.
Oh, and things are going well still. I'll post again soon hopefully.
-Michael
This first one is from a big parade a week ago that culminated 10 days of celebrating the culture here. This was a competition to recreate old myths.
This is my host brother Freddy.
I think this guy wanted me to help him...
My second week here my host brother and I climbed that mountain behind me.
This is my host brother Alejandro. Like a lot a people here, he doesn't smile in pictures very often.
This is one of our dogs. His name is Doggy (or sometimes Doggito), and he's adorable.
They're really excited to be taking a picture with me.
This is our pet turtle! His name is Torti. Sorry it's a little blurry; he's really fast.
See if you can spot the gringo in this picture.
This is another, smaller city about 40 minutes away called Nueva Cajamarca. I go there pretty often for work.
This is the Catholic school in Nueva Cajamarca where I also go for work a lot.
This is the new cement factory. They don't allow reporters or anybody with cameras to take pictures because it is polluting the air, water, and land. They can't stop anybody from taking a picture from a car though...
This wall is across from my work. "Vuelve a sonreir" kind of means "Keep smiling."
I haven't taken many pictures of myself with people, or of people I don't know, or even of people I know. I'm generally pretty nervous about that sort of thing. I guess I'm just feeling things out first; you know, getting comfortable. I'll have plenty more pictures in 5 months.
Oh, and things are going well still. I'll post again soon hopefully.
-Michael
Monday, June 30, 2008
Reflections on Being White
Sorry in advance that this post is long, but since I haven´t written anything in a while you are obligated to read it if we´re friends.
The city of Moyobamba has about 50,000 people and it is the biggest city around. Of these 50,000 there are currently 5 other white people if I counted right. Everywhere I go I stand out. I also happen to be about 4 or 5 inches taller than almost everybody. This is the most I have ever stood out in my life. In just 4 short weeks, this constant reality has effected me much more profoundly than I had expected it would.
Being one of the only white people here means that I represent the United States and I am represented by the media from the United States. Being from Southern California and having a fiance named Pamela has brought a few harmless comments about Baywatch, but my host brothers also call me Michael Douglass, Michael Jackson, and Michael W. Smith. Most people here have cable, which includes many channels in English with Spanish subtitles as well Spanish channels. They see white people on T.V. every day but rarely in person.
I have had several conversations about U.S. politics and foreign relations with people here. I have actually been surprised to find that they are not as angry about U.S. policies as I had expected. I think there are several reasons for this. 1. In Argentina last summer Argentines were very opinionated about how bad the U.S. has been, but Argentines happen to be very politically opinionated people. 2. Our political leaders haven´t done anything new in a while to really upset the world. 3. Everybody loves Barack Obama. So it has been nice to not be blamed for some war or trade policy that I don´t understand. A good friend of mine actually found himself defending Dick Cheney of all people in Palestine because a man was telling him that Dick Cheney is Jewish.
When I am walking around town or in a smaller city 40 minutes down the road, it's much more unsettling to be white. Kids sometimes laugh and stare, especially if I'm in their school. Drunk men will yell at me or stand too close to me and talk to me or ask for money. There is a man who is always selling sunglasses. Every time I turn him down, but he tries again next time he sees me. He knows I have money. Sometimes people stare when I walk and I don't know what they're thinking. Sometimes I feel like they are trying to intimidate me. I went for a run in the afternoon a few days ago and people yelled "Hello! How are you?" or "Gringo!" as I ran.
Moyobamba is a very safe city and I continue to find that people do not mean me harm even when they yell things like this. However, this is still a first for me. I don't want people to look at me and make assumptions, even if they´re right. They assume that I don't know Spanish very well, they assume that I haven't been here long, they assume that I am Evangelical, they know I have money, and they're pretty sure I'm no good at soccer and can´t dance. I actually have been getting quite angry at times. It is a new kind of anger that I don't think I have ever felt before. I had known that I was privileged before. I knew that being white, male and fairly well off meant that I enjoy privileges which others do not. But I really couldn't imagine what it would actually feel like to not be the majority. I don't claim to understand the lives of minorities in the U.S. now, but I think I am beginning to understand things which I couldn't before. If I have felt angry for feeling judged or that people want me to leave after 4 weeks here, then it must be much more difficult to be actually marginalized for one's whole life. There have been so many times in my life when I have seen somebody different from me and I have felt afraid. I look down and tense up as I try to act casual. I think I've been realizing how aware people are of this. They know when I feel uncomfortable around them. When I notice people look at me differently here it can make me frustrated and angry. However, people do not fear me or marginalize me. I am certainly not powerless. They laugh at me or stare at me, but they also include me in their lives and accept me. While I have surprised myself with my frustration and even anger at times, I believe that this is very good for me in the long run. It´s an important part of the journey, even if it´s painful. And being accepted despite being so different has been one of the most rewarding things I could ask for.
I will end this post with 2 quotes from Henri Nouwen which my professor sent us as encouragement.
“One of the most rewarding aspects of living in a strange land is the experience of being loved not for what we can do, but for who we are. When we become aware that our stuttering, failing, vulnerable selves are loved even when we hardly progress, we can let go of our compulsion to prove ourselves and be free to live with others in a fellowship of the weak. This psychological perspective on culture shock can open us for us a new understanding of God’s grace and our vocation to live graceful lives. In the presence of God, we are totally naked, broken, sinful, and dependent, and we realize that we can do nothing, absolutely nothing, without him. When we are willing to confess our true condition, God will embrace us with His love, a love so deep, intimate, and strong that it enables us to make all things new. I am convinced that, for Christians, culture shock can be an opportunity not only for psychological healing but also for conversion.” (Nouwen, Gracias, 17).
“So, maybe the question is not how to cope better, but how slowly to allow my unchanging character to become a way of humility and surrender to God. As I recognize my fears of being left alone and my desire for a sense of belonging, I may gradually give up my attempts to fill my loneliness and be ready to recognize with my heart that God is Emmanuel, ‘God-with-us,’ and that I belong to Him before anything or anyone else. And so a new vision of maturity may emerge; not a vision in which I am more and more able to deal with my own pains, but in which I am more willing to let my Lord deal with them. After all, maturation in a spiritual sense is a growing willingness to stretch out my arms, to have a belt put around me, and to be led where I would rather not go” (Gracias, 53).
-Michael
The city of Moyobamba has about 50,000 people and it is the biggest city around. Of these 50,000 there are currently 5 other white people if I counted right. Everywhere I go I stand out. I also happen to be about 4 or 5 inches taller than almost everybody. This is the most I have ever stood out in my life. In just 4 short weeks, this constant reality has effected me much more profoundly than I had expected it would.
Being one of the only white people here means that I represent the United States and I am represented by the media from the United States. Being from Southern California and having a fiance named Pamela has brought a few harmless comments about Baywatch, but my host brothers also call me Michael Douglass, Michael Jackson, and Michael W. Smith. Most people here have cable, which includes many channels in English with Spanish subtitles as well Spanish channels. They see white people on T.V. every day but rarely in person.
I have had several conversations about U.S. politics and foreign relations with people here. I have actually been surprised to find that they are not as angry about U.S. policies as I had expected. I think there are several reasons for this. 1. In Argentina last summer Argentines were very opinionated about how bad the U.S. has been, but Argentines happen to be very politically opinionated people. 2. Our political leaders haven´t done anything new in a while to really upset the world. 3. Everybody loves Barack Obama. So it has been nice to not be blamed for some war or trade policy that I don´t understand. A good friend of mine actually found himself defending Dick Cheney of all people in Palestine because a man was telling him that Dick Cheney is Jewish.
When I am walking around town or in a smaller city 40 minutes down the road, it's much more unsettling to be white. Kids sometimes laugh and stare, especially if I'm in their school. Drunk men will yell at me or stand too close to me and talk to me or ask for money. There is a man who is always selling sunglasses. Every time I turn him down, but he tries again next time he sees me. He knows I have money. Sometimes people stare when I walk and I don't know what they're thinking. Sometimes I feel like they are trying to intimidate me. I went for a run in the afternoon a few days ago and people yelled "Hello! How are you?" or "Gringo!" as I ran.
Moyobamba is a very safe city and I continue to find that people do not mean me harm even when they yell things like this. However, this is still a first for me. I don't want people to look at me and make assumptions, even if they´re right. They assume that I don't know Spanish very well, they assume that I haven't been here long, they assume that I am Evangelical, they know I have money, and they're pretty sure I'm no good at soccer and can´t dance. I actually have been getting quite angry at times. It is a new kind of anger that I don't think I have ever felt before. I had known that I was privileged before. I knew that being white, male and fairly well off meant that I enjoy privileges which others do not. But I really couldn't imagine what it would actually feel like to not be the majority. I don't claim to understand the lives of minorities in the U.S. now, but I think I am beginning to understand things which I couldn't before. If I have felt angry for feeling judged or that people want me to leave after 4 weeks here, then it must be much more difficult to be actually marginalized for one's whole life. There have been so many times in my life when I have seen somebody different from me and I have felt afraid. I look down and tense up as I try to act casual. I think I've been realizing how aware people are of this. They know when I feel uncomfortable around them. When I notice people look at me differently here it can make me frustrated and angry. However, people do not fear me or marginalize me. I am certainly not powerless. They laugh at me or stare at me, but they also include me in their lives and accept me. While I have surprised myself with my frustration and even anger at times, I believe that this is very good for me in the long run. It´s an important part of the journey, even if it´s painful. And being accepted despite being so different has been one of the most rewarding things I could ask for.
I will end this post with 2 quotes from Henri Nouwen which my professor sent us as encouragement.
“One of the most rewarding aspects of living in a strange land is the experience of being loved not for what we can do, but for who we are. When we become aware that our stuttering, failing, vulnerable selves are loved even when we hardly progress, we can let go of our compulsion to prove ourselves and be free to live with others in a fellowship of the weak. This psychological perspective on culture shock can open us for us a new understanding of God’s grace and our vocation to live graceful lives. In the presence of God, we are totally naked, broken, sinful, and dependent, and we realize that we can do nothing, absolutely nothing, without him. When we are willing to confess our true condition, God will embrace us with His love, a love so deep, intimate, and strong that it enables us to make all things new. I am convinced that, for Christians, culture shock can be an opportunity not only for psychological healing but also for conversion.” (Nouwen, Gracias, 17).
“So, maybe the question is not how to cope better, but how slowly to allow my unchanging character to become a way of humility and surrender to God. As I recognize my fears of being left alone and my desire for a sense of belonging, I may gradually give up my attempts to fill my loneliness and be ready to recognize with my heart that God is Emmanuel, ‘God-with-us,’ and that I belong to Him before anything or anyone else. And so a new vision of maturity may emerge; not a vision in which I am more and more able to deal with my own pains, but in which I am more willing to let my Lord deal with them. After all, maturation in a spiritual sense is a growing willingness to stretch out my arms, to have a belt put around me, and to be led where I would rather not go” (Gracias, 53).
-Michael
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
My Reasons
When I was first applying to the HNGR program I was pretty good at articulating why I wanted to do this (I think). Since then I haven't questioned my original intent much. So, in response to the question "Why are you doing this?", I guess the short answer is "God has called me. I just know. I have to go." Though, that isn't to say that I hadn't been looking forward to this experience or that I don't have specific things I hope this experience will do. I think it's good for me to recount some of the things I hope to gain from my HNGR journey.
I hope to experience poverty enough to not be able to wake up another day as if it were a dream. I hope to live with people and hear there stories and share life with them enough to not be able to ignore things that I have ignored for too long. I hope that living in this tension makes me more compassionate.
I hope to learn from Christians here. So far I've been humbled by their wisdom and passion to bring God's kingdom to earth in its fullness. They aren't perfect, but I have much to learn from them.
I hope, in my weakness, to become more dependent on the Lord.
I hope to learn how a Christian NGO in Latin America works and what they do.
I hope to see beauty and learn to have joy in the Lord despite the pain, hopeless, and reasons to despair.
I hope to learn Spanish.
Before leaving Wheaton, the outgoing HNGR students made a covenant. It expresses what is on all of our hearts well, and I plan to keep it central for these next 6 months.
I hope to experience poverty enough to not be able to wake up another day as if it were a dream. I hope to live with people and hear there stories and share life with them enough to not be able to ignore things that I have ignored for too long. I hope that living in this tension makes me more compassionate.
I hope to learn from Christians here. So far I've been humbled by their wisdom and passion to bring God's kingdom to earth in its fullness. They aren't perfect, but I have much to learn from them.
I hope, in my weakness, to become more dependent on the Lord.
I hope to learn how a Christian NGO in Latin America works and what they do.
I hope to see beauty and learn to have joy in the Lord despite the pain, hopeless, and reasons to despair.
I hope to learn Spanish.
Before leaving Wheaton, the outgoing HNGR students made a covenant. It expresses what is on all of our hearts well, and I plan to keep it central for these next 6 months.
HNGR Covenant 2008
As people of a broken world, we desire to see
God's kingdom with new lenses. In this kingdom,
we see power in the helplessness of an infant,
peace and restoration between God, humanity,
and creation, and forgiveness of debts through
Christ's declaration of Jubilee.
As a community, we commit to kingdom
obedience through:
Turning to the Lord daily,
Supporting one another in prayer,
Journeying this path with our fellow learners,
Remaining present in heart, mind, and body,
Rejoicing with those who rejoice,
Mourning with those who mourn,
Listening to the unheard voices and
knowing them by name,
Sharing the experiences of our journey.
In humility we confess our falleness and
recognize the barriers of privilege. As Christ was
not bound by the tomb, we will not be bound by
despair. In the hope of the resurrection, we fully
rely on the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the
promises of Christ.
Lord have mercy.
Amen.
-Michael
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
My Internship
The organization I work for here is called Paz y Esperanza (Peace and Hope). They do great work but there aren't too many people working in the office right now because they couldn't get funding for more projects. I am working with 2 projects right now.
One involves helping to make churches more capable to take on some of the social and environmental issues here in Moyobamba and the Alto Mayo region. People here at Paz lead workshops for church youth (ages 18-25, so mostly older than me) who are future church leaders. The workshops regard servant leadership and calling, domestic violence (Biblical understanding of roles and equality; cycles of violence, legislation and rights; psychology and self esteem; and conflict resolution), and environmental impact (Biblical framework and local challenges). They also lead these workshops for pastors and adults. I'm very excited to see churches coming together to try to solve the problems here together.
The second involves just focused on the environment. A nearby smaller town is trying to improve problems there such as deforestation, lack of clean water, poor handling of trash and sewage. I've been reading long summaries of problems and proposals and things. I also went to visit the town today and have seen these problems here in Moyobamba as well. There are 2 beautiful look out points from the city to the river, jungle and mountains. On Thursday (Earth Day) I went to one of them to do this nature hike thing with the junior high kids (who all laughed at me for being white). When I looked out I saw at least 6 clouds of smoke rising from the jungle where farmers are burning trees to farm more. They are destroying the Amazon and they know it, but they are poor and there is a market for coffee. They have to eat. I don't know what the answers are. It's even a more complicated problem than I know yet, but hopefully I can learn more.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Honeymoon Stage
Finally I was able to upload some pictures. So, this is my house. It has an open courtyard in the middle and some of the rooms are open on that side. I sort of live outside. I love it. They can do that here because the weather is perfect and really really consistent. It will rain, but the temperature each day is always about the same; kind of hot during the day, and just cool enough for a sweater at night.
I have a host mom, 2 brothers (24 and 27), a friend of theirs and a 15 year old sister who live here. There's a few more who don't live here too.
I have gotten along really well with my family. People only have motorcycles here. There are hardly any cars. Alejandro, the 24 year old and I go out on his motorcycle and I teach him English and he teaches me Spanish.
My host mom is the sweetest and always sings when she cooks and cleans. She makes really good food too. Fresh fruit juice every day is nice.It's really nice to feel so welcome here. I have felt insecure at times when out around the city. Yesterday some high school kids laughed at me and I get starred at a lot, but when I come home I'm so welcome.
Last night my host mom asked me about politics and Barack Obama. I think people here are pretty excited and surprised that an African American is the candidate in one of the major parties for president in the U.S.
My Spanish is coming along better than I'd expected. Understanding isn't so bad but speaking is rough.
Well, I have much more I could say. I haven't even mentioned work yet. But I don't want these posts to be too long and I have things I need to do. In summary, I'm doing really well here and enjoying myself. I'll try to post about work and some other things soon.
-Michael
Monday, June 2, 2008
Arrival in Moyobamba
I landed in Lima on Saturday night and stayed there until my flight this afternoon to Moyobamba. I did not articulate my expectations of my arrival at Lima well enough beforehand, but I know that things were very different than I had expected. There's really a lot to say already, but I think I'll save my thoughts and try to do topical posts later on after I've given things more thought and learned more.
I am at home now in Moyobamba and so far it's much better than I imagined. I need to get to bed so I'll describe it more later and I'll have some pictures. I think I will really like it here.
-Michael
I am at home now in Moyobamba and so far it's much better than I imagined. I need to get to bed so I'll describe it more later and I'll have some pictures. I think I will really like it here.
-Michael
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